What Goes Around Comes Around

Karma. Yin and Yang. Payback. Whatever you want to call it, in this industry, it is very real. There is almost a spiritual side to broadcasting when you look at things in the big picture. Maybe it's because of the opportunity you are given to connect with others on a daily basis. Maybe it's because you have the opportunity to make a difference in the community by holding an event or bringing some issue to light. Maybe it's because you can affect the moods of those listening - bringing either joy, sadness, or comfort to their day.

Being in radio is a special gift, no matter how you look at it. What goes on inside the studio when done right, is artwork at it's very best. Many in upper management seem to have forgotten that, and this includes Program Directors and Operations Directors too. One of the big ways that this magic, this artwork can be killed is by how the air staff is treated OUTSIDE the studio door. Sure, there are lots of stresses; make sure the logs are done, the promos are cut, the affidavits are done right, that sales is happy, that plans are underway in plenty of time for the "next big promotion." However, there is no excuse not to treat your people well.

An acquaintance of mine just lost her job this past week. From first impressions, she was a very likable person. Always had a smile on her face, and always seemed to have an open door. It turns out that most of that was a sham. Instead of taking care of business, she was shopping online. Instead of planning the next big thing, she was looking for others to blame. Most of all, instead of treating her people like the professionals they were, she treated them worse than a dog at the city pound.

Always be kind to the part time kid, to the afternoon guy going through a divorce, to the mid day woman whose son is walking the line trying to stay out of jail. These professionals have their own lives too, and they deal with and do their best to put on a good show for the audience. If you're not careful, Karma will come back and bite you square in the ass someday. Who knows, one day that part time kid you pissed off because you didn't like the t-shirt he was wearing might just be the GM you're interviewing for a job with. Treat your people well, and most of the other headaches will solve themselves.

The Great Oz or Things I Know Now That No One Told Me

I have been in this business since dirt and things have changed SO much - some good, a lot bad. Usually you have a "wise aunt or uncle" that you bond with who will show you the ropes and help you avoid the pitfalls. But, what if no such person presents themself? Well, "Uncle Jim" has put together a list of things learned that are more true than not throughoug a near 2 decade career in radio. Comments and additions are welcome, and I think this list will serve everyone from newbie to seasoned vet:

BROADWAY'S LIST OF RADIO REALITIES

1. There will always be better paying jobs. The guy in the drive-thru makes more than you will.
2. People who are lazy and miss a lot of work are usually in management.
3. Sales Managers more often than not, hire by their zipper.
4. Negotiate your salary up front - if you ever get a raise, it will be an accounting error.
5. Yes, the GM can look at porn. No, you may not, unless you are in his office.
6. When your boss says you are the next to be promoted, that is generally a lie.
7. Station vehicles are often used for moving.
8. Embrace today's buzz words. There will be more tomorrow.
9. She might be stupid, but she has boobs and a vagina - that excuses a lot.
10. Almost all of the on air staff have had sex in the studio. Repeatedly.
11. Voice tracking a part of your shift or another shift is just part of the business. Deal with it.
12. Sales people will tell you one thing and do something else. They lie to everyone, that's what makes them successful.
13. Do not go to work when you are sick. It will spread like wildfire to everyone.
14. Women will do almost anything for concert tickets or even a t-shirt.
15. Drinking after the Christmas parade is expected.
16. Small towns are the most friendly.
17. Real radio is in the small town markets, look for a place that is not rated and that's where to apply.
18. Ratings are the devil. The system is antiquated and sales should sell by personal relationships and not numbers.
19. You will get fired.
20. The hotter she sounds on the phone, the uglier she is in person.

Some will see this list as highly offensive. It is not meant to be. It is meant to be a guide to common sense in an industry that has portions that no longer remember what common sense is. To be able to entertain, to touch the soul of another person just through your words or actions, is priceless and it is a true talent. The rest, is just what you have to deal with outside the studio door.

Mailbag Question - How Should I Get Paid?

As I've started up this blog again, I've been receiving emails from all sorts of people in the industry. While I've answered questions in person, I thought I'd kick off a "Mail Bag" feature once a week - sorry, no great prizes to give the winning email. You free-seekers can snag a trade coupon from your SM to your favorite Chinese place to celebrate your being in print - haha!

This week's email is from Chris in Kansas City and he wants to know how he should fill out his time sheet (legally) when he works a remote. His company says that he should only write down the hours that he is doing the remote. Well Chris, here's the short answer: according to the Department of Labor, ANYTIME the company requires you to go someplace, you should clock for it. So, if you have a remote from 4-7pm, and it takes an hour drive to and from the remote, your time sheet should look like this:

3-4pm - Regular Time
4-7pm - Talent Fee for Remote
7-8pm - Regular Time

Many companies will try to tell you that your "talent fee" is more than enough and that you shouldn't double dip. Your company is violating the Wage & Hour Law by making that suggestion or implication. In reality, you are NOT double dipping, you are clocking for hours that are required of you. Don't let them push you into a corner on what you should rightfully be paid. You're not asking for anything special, just what is owed to you.

If you would like to send a question, feel free to do so: radiooffair@gmail.com and I'll be glad to answer you.

The Enemy Is Upon Us - Embrace It!

Over the past 4 years, our industry has been a divided medium, fighting several battles at the same time. First, there was the battle of terrestrial radio vs. satellite radio. Next, we moved onto fighting the internet, with many stations developing streaming products as an answer. Now however, the biggest challenge of all is here, and it's right in our pockets. Our biggest fight for relevance in our day and age is coming from our cell phones.

Mobile phones are no longer big bag like monsters that take a small army to move, cost a fortune to own, and are even more expensive to operate. No, they are cheaper buy the dozen these days, with all kinds to choose from and at all different price ranges. No contract? No worry. Get your kid a prepaid Virgin or Boost and be worry free. Android's platform is storming the marketplace, taking a 27% share away from the IPhone this year. Everyone has a cell phone in their pocket or purse. Ask that same person to pull out their portable radio and you'll get a look like you just walked in from Mars.

However, I think cell phones should not be demonized, but utilized. Some phones are already coming with their own radio tuners inside, but most don't. That's why EVERY programming department across the country needs to break the "Emergency Only" glass, go in with their General Managers and demand money to create FREE applications for the mobile phone industry. Clear Channel is already doing this with their application, but, even the cluster groups of 2 or more radio stations (independent single stations too) need to do get an IPhone, Blackberry, and an Android app for EACH radio station. Make it entertaining! Make it invaluable! Make it personal for your listeners, and then market the HELL out of it! Yes, I know that Sales and Management will balk at the idea of spending money for FREE applications, but they need to get in reality and YOU need to be persistent with them, almost to the point of being buggy about the matter. Radio is free. You should want to carry on one of the biggest selling points in the business with a free app.

Yes, it's that important. People don't wait for the news or the weather to come on anymore. Either they watch TV, get it online, or if they are at work, they get it from their phone. Increase your "at work" advantage before the station across town does.

Radio is Broken and No One Is Fixing It

By now, you must think that I am somewhat jaded toward the profession I am in and yes, to a point I guess I am. What frustrates me is the fact that being IN RADIO used to be so damned fun! Crazy contests, even crazier listeners, the stories, and above all else the people behind the microphone made being in radio this amazing little society within society itself. Here you is where you lived, breathed, and worked just for those few precious hours a day when it was your turn to go out and entertain.

It is sad, but life behind the walls of your favorite radio station isn't what it used to be. In fact, it's a mess and we are to blame for it. When was the last time you actually heard someone say their goal was to work in radio? Oh, it still happens, but not nearly as much as it used to. Once upon a time you would have people from all walks of life wanting to be a DJ. Program Directors desks were covered with T&R's (tapes and resumes for those who are from the strictly digital age) and finding a part timer was like looking for some sand on a beach! Now, it's a literal ghost town. We are suffering from *GASP* being "un-cool!"

Lack of good talent is another severe problem yet we do nothing about it. When it's time to tighten those budgets, the first places stripped of live humans are part timers and the Overnight position. This does a real disservice to us. We need those part time hours not only to give the full time staff a break, but it's also to train the new generation of radio people. Can they walk the walk? Can they talk into a microphone? Are they teachable? No part time staff is essentially cutting your nose of to spite your face. Sames goes for the Overnight positions. So many of our great radio legends got "found" while doing their thing in the wee hours of the night / morning. That was the starting ground for a full time career. Now, it's cheaper to have it voice tracked by one of the other full time staff members. Ironically, said full timer won't put in as much work to their voice tracked shift because it is not their "regular show" and is nothing more to most than a pain in the ass requirement of their job.

One other important topic to note is that the majority of General Managers these days come from the Sales side. Therefore, they favor sales over the programming side and it leaves a HUGE rift in the company. Trust me, I love what the sales department does. If they didn't get out and hustle the product, none of us would be in this business. But, you've got to have a product that is not just sell-able, but one that is STELLAR to beat down the mobile phones, and MP3 players of the world. Don't piss on my foot and tell me it's raining. Programming is just as important as sales and the sooner the message of equality is carried out, the better off everyone will be.

Lastly, every damned consultant needs to be fired. They are "of the devil" and with the money paid to them, you could easily afford some part timers! Consultants have never lived where you are, yet, they will tell you during their 2 to 3 day visit to your market that they know in their divine wisdom that what worked for them in New York City will be the next rage in Biloxi, Mississippi.

That is the biggest load of bullshit ever.

Even if you should find a fantastic consultant ask yourself this...whose phone call is more important to them, yours or the guy in San Francisco? I believe every radio station has a consultant already and they are called Program Directors. Let them direct, coach, and lead the radio station. If they do well, keep them. If they don't, fire them. But above all, give them a chance to prove they were a good hire for the job.

With just these few tweaks, you will have made a massive difference in taking radio back to where it should be!

You're Fired, So What?

Let me tell you a very poorly kept secret in the radio industry - if you are in it long enough, you are going to get fired. While being fired in other professions is a black mark on your record, it really means nothing in the broadcast industry. There are those who will not admit this, but the "clash of egos and ideologies" runs deep. It's not uncommon to get a new Program Director or Operations Manager and within a matter of a few weeks, long time staff are being escorted out of the HR office with box in hand and 30 minutes to clean out their desks and get outta' dodge. It's a fact of life, and it sucks. But it's our fault this once beloved industry has gone to hell. We have allowed it to happen, but that's a subject for a different posting.

Recently, one of my co-workers got it in her head that she was headed for the chopping block. It's not hard to get paranoid in our building, with all the closed door meetings, out of office lunches, and people being seen in places that they normally don't belong, a person can get a complex pretty fast. It's how you handle the game that counts, and believe me, it IS a game! If you let all of the office politics wash over you like river water over a well smoothed rock, then more than likely, you'll be ok. Hunker down, do your work, keep your mouth shut, avoid the bosses office, and go home as fast as possible. That is the way to survive.

Drawing attention to yourself, and your growing paranoia over termination is NOT the way to deal with the situation.

Higher ups enjoy a little "cloak and dagger" every now and then. They like to see who can walk the walk, and who breaks like glass under the stress. Sometimes, they can weed out the weak links like that and not have to worry about a severance package or letting someone out of a non-compete. It's in their best interest to test the waters now and then and see what shakes out. My best advice...if you're gonna' get canned, let them do it to it to you so you can grab unemployment, COBRA for your insurance, and a severance package.

I'd love to write more, but seeing as it's Labor Day, I'm going to go call said co-worker and see how bad her condition is.

Are You SURE You Want To Be In Radio?

If you're thinking about going into radio, I hope you stumble across this posting first and then decide to stick it out with me.

Back in 2008, I thought it was a great idea to start blogging about the experiences I've had in radio, as well as imparting some of the advice from things I've learned along the way. However, after only 3 postings, I closed up shop and wrote no more. Why? Partly, because I was trying to sound like someone else and in doing so, I didn't like the end result. Also, I had the wistful hope that the ugly, disrespectful, and sometimes abusive side of our business would change. I thought that maybe we would see the light with the looming threats of the IPhone and smart phone's in general, MP3's wherever you go, internet music at the touch of a fingertip, etc... and that in the end, we would clean up our houses and return this industry to creative, inspiring individuals who see what we do an art form instead of a burden.

Sadly, I was wrong.

A majority of our industry has been taken over by soulless, hateful, do nothing's who work to appease the bean counters in another city. Because of this, he dictum is no longer "make the magic happen" but "meet your 30% ROI." Ironically, these same people couldn't be hired for about 80% of the jobs out there due to their inept ability to manage people, or exude empathy, or...they just couldn't get the burger done on both sides. Medium and large corporations that own stations all over the country have robbed our communities of their source of music, entertainment, and local flavor. In turn, people wonder why radio either sounds the same or is so bland.

No one would believe the truth.