The Great Oz or Things I Know Now That No One Told Me

I have been in this business since dirt and things have changed SO much - some good, a lot bad. Usually you have a "wise aunt or uncle" that you bond with who will show you the ropes and help you avoid the pitfalls. But, what if no such person presents themself? Well, "Uncle Jim" has put together a list of things learned that are more true than not throughoug a near 2 decade career in radio. Comments and additions are welcome, and I think this list will serve everyone from newbie to seasoned vet:

BROADWAY'S LIST OF RADIO REALITIES

1. There will always be better paying jobs. The guy in the drive-thru makes more than you will.
2. People who are lazy and miss a lot of work are usually in management.
3. Sales Managers more often than not, hire by their zipper.
4. Negotiate your salary up front - if you ever get a raise, it will be an accounting error.
5. Yes, the GM can look at porn. No, you may not, unless you are in his office.
6. When your boss says you are the next to be promoted, that is generally a lie.
7. Station vehicles are often used for moving.
8. Embrace today's buzz words. There will be more tomorrow.
9. She might be stupid, but she has boobs and a vagina - that excuses a lot.
10. Almost all of the on air staff have had sex in the studio. Repeatedly.
11. Voice tracking a part of your shift or another shift is just part of the business. Deal with it.
12. Sales people will tell you one thing and do something else. They lie to everyone, that's what makes them successful.
13. Do not go to work when you are sick. It will spread like wildfire to everyone.
14. Women will do almost anything for concert tickets or even a t-shirt.
15. Drinking after the Christmas parade is expected.
16. Small towns are the most friendly.
17. Real radio is in the small town markets, look for a place that is not rated and that's where to apply.
18. Ratings are the devil. The system is antiquated and sales should sell by personal relationships and not numbers.
19. You will get fired.
20. The hotter she sounds on the phone, the uglier she is in person.

Some will see this list as highly offensive. It is not meant to be. It is meant to be a guide to common sense in an industry that has portions that no longer remember what common sense is. To be able to entertain, to touch the soul of another person just through your words or actions, is priceless and it is a true talent. The rest, is just what you have to deal with outside the studio door.